Tami Simon speaks with Dr. Robert Augustus Masters, an Integral psychotherapist, relationship expert, and spiritual teacher whose work emphasizes embodiment, emotional literacy, and the development of relational maturity. He is the author of 13 books including the new Sounds True book Emotional Intimacy, as well as the audio learning course Knowing Your Shadow. In the second part of their discussion, Tami speaks with Robert about the importance of mutual transparency in relationships, how we can engage in “connected catharsis,” the telltale signs that reveal when we are using spiritual bypassing to avoid emotional experience, and how we can start to identify and work with our own shadow material. (57 minutes)
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained neuroanatomist and the New York Times bestselling author of the memoir My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey, in which she describes experiencing a rare form of stroke and her eight-year recovery. In this episode, Dr. Taylor speaks with Tami about the two hemispheres of the brain and how to integrate them, how to maintain a balanced brain, and the importance of nurturing the right brain in today’s left brain-dominant society. (65 minutes)
See Dr. Jill with singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer in August 2014. Visit WakeUpFestival.com for more information.
How do you transform your mind, and how do you do it in real time amidst the challenges of work and life? How do you remain openhearted and generous in a competitive or even cutthroat environment? These aren’t usually the kinds of questions that businesspeople ask themselves. Yet it’s become Jeremy Hunter’s mission to help today’s entrepreneurs and organizational leaders realize the incredible value of asking—and answering—these deep questions.
In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with the core faculty member of Sounds True’s Inner MBA® program and a renowned authority on mindfulness and leadership about the “untaught essentials for business humans,” discussing the lifesaving practice of meditation; training our perception (and not just our intellect); why managers must learn how to manage themselves; placing a high value on attention and presence; examining how you construct your experience; using spiritual tools and teachings to create real business results; unconditional love; developing somatic intelligence; why it’s so important to be grounded as a leader; setting the emotional tone for the group you work with; activating our collaborative superpowers by caring about and meeting each other’s needs; transforming fear and anxiety into vitality and joy; pleasure, enjoyment, and recovering from “Frivolity Deficiency Syndrome”; acknowledging what is beautiful in your world; gratitude vs. appreciation; the opportunity for businesspeople in our times of uncertainty and accelerating change; creating a relationship with solidity; letting go of the beliefs and behaviors that no longer fit; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
The wounds, scars, and pain we carry as men have a place in our lives. A function that can lead us directly to the core of deep meaning and fulfillment and provide a positive path forward. This is what initiation was supposed to teach us as men—how to descend into the depths of our own darkness and return a more complete and contributive participant in society.
However, this is where a man’s real problem resides: He has not been taught the skill or alchemy of initiation. He has not learned how to deal with his pain, or the pain of the world, and so he bucks against it.
I realized over the years of grappling with how to heal that not only was I ill-equipped to deal with the hurt I’d been given, but I also seemed to be woefully ill-equipped to reconcile with, and put a halt to, the perpetual hurt I passed on to others. Like many men, I was good at inflicting pain—and men who are good at something tend to do that thing a lot.
Not only was I undereducated in the alchemical craft of turning pain into purpose, but almost every man I knew was in relatively the same situation. Most men simply haven’t been taught how to deal with their pain and use it to become something better.
And this aspect of the journey is the missing link in male initiation, which has historically played the role of guiding a man through the transitory period between adolescence and adulthood, teaching him the skills of discipline, sovereignty, and the ability to face some of the most challenging aspects of his own life.
In fact, I began to see that not only have most men not been given the tools or resources to deal with the pain and suffering in their lives, but we as men are actively taught the opposite—the idiotic tactic of constant emotional avoidance. Not only this, but our emotional avoidance is seen as a theoretical and rational strength in certain circles.
Seeing this brings about a multitude of questions that both illuminate the foundational cracks within current masculine culture and also highlight the work we must embark on if we are to do our individual and collective parts as men in building a thriving society.
There’s more: I began to see the direct correlation between a man’s ability and willingness to face his own darkness and having a clear purpose, deep fulfillment, and clarity of contribution to the things that matter most to him.
But how can we as men give our pain a purpose in a culture where we are largely devoid of emotional permissions? Where the archetype of man, in order to be classified or quantified as a man, must do the impossible task of being brave and courageous without being vulnerable?
This is one of the biggest masculine myths—the false idea that you can be courageous without being inherently vulnerable. When we are rewarded for giving our lives, our hearts, and our emotional bodies up for sacrifice to maintain the illusion of invulnerable strength, we prioritize victory over connection. We praise ourselves for performance in the boardroom, bedroom, and bars, but we lack recognition for our performance in reconciliation, repair, and reparation.
There’s another way. A way where victory is found within the work, and part of that work is facing our own darkness.
Excerpted from Men’s Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom by Connor Beaton.
CONNOR BEATON is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to the personal growth of men. He is a facilitator dedicated to building better men, an entrepreneur, a writer, and a keynote speaker. Connor has spoken to large corporate brands, nonprofits, schools, and international organizations such as the United Nations, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson, Apple, TED, and Entrepreneurs’ Organization. For more, visit mantalks.com.
Iman Oubou is a Moroccan American entrepreneur, former beauty queen, and published scientist on a mission to change the women’s media landscape. Through her diverse experience with business, pageantry, and STEM, Iman noticed gender disparities in the workforce and an omnipresent bias across printed and digital media. She founded SWAAY, an all-in-one publishing platform for women, to champion the voices of female change-makers through the power of storytelling.
In this podcast, Sounds True founder Tami Simon speaks with Iman Oubou about her new book, The Glass Ledge: How to Break Through Self-Sabotage, Embrace Your Power, and Create Your Success, to share inspirational guidance for navigating the challenges facing today’s women entrepreneurs and change-makers. Tami and Iman discuss what Iman calls “the immigrant mentality,” or the need to to work twice as hard to stand out in a worthy and positive light; combining our inner work and outer efforts on the path to success; rising above a victim mindset; the interplay of resilience and surrender; becoming comfortable with the discomfort of uncertainty; examining your relationship with power; overcoming “impostor syndrome”; developing the courage and confidence to speak up more; balancing the desire to be both likable and respected; what it means to “compete in the right way”; and more.
Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk, humanitarian, and one of three authors of Freedom for All of Us: A Monk, a Philosopher, and a Psychiatrist on Finding Inner Peace, available in November, 2020. He is also the author of several other books, including The Monk and the Philosopher, Happiness, and Altruism. He is a major participant in research collaboration between cognitive scientists and Buddhist practitioners. Ricard is a noted translator and photographer, and has founded humanitarian projects in India, Tibet, and Nepal. For more information, visit karuna-shechen.org.
The Book
With their acclaimed book In Search of Wisdom, three gifted friends—a monk, a philosopher, and a psychiatrist—shed light on our universal quest for meaning, purpose, and understanding. Now, in this new in-depth offering, they invite us to tend to the garden of our true nature: freedom.
Filled with unexpected insights and specific strategies, Freedom for All of Us presents an inspiring guide for breaking free of the unconscious walls that confine us.
Send us a photo of your sacred space.
[Pictured here is the] Shechen Monastery in Nepal, where I live a good part of the year:
[And] the views from my hermitage in Nepal:
‘
If you could invite any three transformational leaders or spiritual teachers (throughout time) to dinner, who would they be and why?
I do not have dinner and he does not either, but if I had to choose to spend an hour quietly with someone alive today, it would be His Holiness the Dalai Lama. [He is] someone of boundless compassion and wisdom, who treats every sentient being—from the person who cleans the floor at the hotel when he travels, to a head of state—with the same kindness, respect, and attention.
As for [two people] who [are no longer] in this world, I would give everything to spend another hour in the presence of my two main spiritual teachers: Kangyur Rinpoche and Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, who inspire every instant of my life.
Has your book taken on a new meaning in the world’s current circumstances? Is there anything you would have included in your book if you were writing it now?
Many people have indeed faced great hardship; being sick, left alone, and having lost a dear one. But for those who simply had to be with themselves and a few kin, I was quite surprised to see how difficult they found [it] to just be with their own minds for extended periods of time. It seemed that it was such a new situation and they had few tools to deal with it.
As a contemplative, I value tremendously [the] time spent alone in my hermitage in the Himalaya[s], cultivating fundamental human qualities that allow me to slowly become a better human being. I believe that among those qualities, inner freedom and compassion are two key factors and that, therefore, our dialogue [in Freedom for All of Us] is quite timely. Most of the subjects that we reflect upon seem very relevant [during] these troubled times and I hope that they will be useful!
