The Ultimate Spiritual Guide for Men

    —
August 2, 2017

Dear Friends,

 

I’m thrilled to celebrate the release of the 20th Anniversary Edition of my book, The Way of the Superior Man. Two decades after it was first published, The Way of the Superior Man is more relevant than ever. New styles of sexual expression are emerging as old roles for men and women are rapidly dissolving. In this new world, women are taking the lead.

In our new world, a man’s presence—his depth of awareness—is his most valuable asset. A man’s worth can be found in his depth of being. The Way of the Superior Man is the way of cultivating total trust in the reality that is living you right now. However vast it may be, reality is happening now, and it includes you. Feel what is, as it is, without resisting the boundless whole. Feeling all, saying “yes” to the entire now, you will know who you are. You will know yourself as the awake fullness of this entire moment, the very force of being.

The Way of the Superior Man is to realize your true strength by knowing who you are at depth, right now. You learn to feel into awareness fully, so you know yourself as conscious presence. You grow to trust the alive fullness of this moment, appearing spontaneously as you and your experience. Your capacity to embody this profound force of presence in your gaze, breath, and action determines your perceived value, sexually and financially. Your woman and your world long for the authentic power of your awakened heart offered through your whole body.

May your deepest gifts overflow in The Way of the Superior Man.

David Deida

David Deida

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Acknowledged as one of the most insightful and provocative teachers of our time, bestselling author David Deida continues to revolutionize the way that men and women grow spiritually and sexually. His 10 books are published in more than 25 languages worldwide and are required reading in university, church, and spiritual center courses. His workshops on a radically practical spirituality have been hailed as among the most original and authentic contributions to the field of self-development currently available. Deida is included in the Watkins Review Spiritual 100 List, designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. He is a founding member of Integral Institute, and has taught and conducted research at the University of California-San Diego School of Medicine, University of California-Santa Cruz, San Jose State University, Lexington Institute in Boston, and Ecole Polytechnique in Paris, France. Some of his recent books include Blue Truth, The Enlightened Sex Manual, and the 20th Anniversary Edition of the international bestseller, The Way of the Superior Man.

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David Deida: Conscious Light Through Two Bodies: The Y...

David Deida is a bestselling and provocative author that continues to revolutionize the way that people grow spiritually and sexually. His 10 books are published in more than 25 languages. He is regularly included in the Watkins Review Spiritual 100 list designating the most spiritually influential people worldwide. With Sounds True, David Deida has published numerous books over the years, including the bestselling, The Way of the Superior Man, which is now available in a special 20th-anniversary edition with a new foreword by David. In this podcast, Sounds True founder Tami Simon speaks with David about knowing ourselves as the light of consciousness, masculine and feminine energetic essences, personal growth through the yogic art of intimacy, and much more.

The Ultimate Spiritual Guide for Men

Dear Friends,

 

I’m thrilled to celebrate the release of the 20th Anniversary Edition of my book, The Way of the Superior Man. Two decades after it was first published, The Way of the Superior Man is more relevant than ever. New styles of sexual expression are emerging as old roles for men and women are rapidly dissolving. In this new world, women are taking the lead.

In our new world, a man’s presence—his depth of awareness—is his most valuable asset. A man’s worth can be found in his depth of being. The Way of the Superior Man is the way of cultivating total trust in the reality that is living you right now. However vast it may be, reality is happening now, and it includes you. Feel what is, as it is, without resisting the boundless whole. Feeling all, saying “yes” to the entire now, you will know who you are. You will know yourself as the awake fullness of this entire moment, the very force of being.

The Way of the Superior Man is to realize your true strength by knowing who you are at depth, right now. You learn to feel into awareness fully, so you know yourself as conscious presence. You grow to trust the alive fullness of this moment, appearing spontaneously as you and your experience. Your capacity to embody this profound force of presence in your gaze, breath, and action determines your perceived value, sexually and financially. Your woman and your world long for the authentic power of your awakened heart offered through your whole body.

May your deepest gifts overflow in The Way of the Superior Man.

David Deida

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Buddhist psychotherapist Bruce Tift is a master at holding these two seemingly contradictory views, and—ready for this?—he does so “without any hope of resolution.” In this podcast, Tami Simon and Bruce Tift talk about how, in his work with clients, he skillfully embraces both the developmental view of psychotherapy and the fruitional view of Vajrayana Buddhism, the blind spots that come with each approach, and how combining them can help people avoid these pitfalls. 

Tune in as they discuss unconditional openness, and how it is important to be “open to being closed”; how neurosis requires disembodiment, and further, how our neurosis is fundamentally an avoidance strategy—“a substitute for experiential intensity”; our complaints about other people (especially our relationship partners) as opportunities to take responsibility for our own feelings of disturbance (instead of blaming other people for upsetting us); how to engage in “unconditional practices,” such as the practice of unconditional openness, unconditional embodiment, and unconditional kindness; and more.

Pain as the Path

The wounds, scars, and pain we carry as men have a place in our lives. A function that can lead us directly to the core of deep meaning and fulfillment and provide a positive path forward. This is what initiation was supposed to teach us as men—how to descend into the depths of our own darkness and return a more complete and contributive participant in society.

However, this is where a man’s real problem resides: He has not been taught the skill or alchemy of initiation. He has not learned how to deal with his pain, or the pain of the world, and so he bucks against it.

I realized over the years of grappling with how to heal that not only was I ill-equipped to deal with the hurt I’d been given, but I also seemed to be woefully ill-equipped to reconcile with, and put a halt to, the perpetual hurt I passed on to others. Like many men, I was good at inflicting pain—and men who are good at something tend to do that thing a lot.

Not only was I undereducated in the alchemical craft of turning pain into purpose, but almost every man I knew was in relatively the same situation. Most men simply haven’t been taught how to deal with their pain and use it to become something better.

And this aspect of the journey is the missing link in male initiation, which has historically played the role of guiding a man through the transitory period between adolescence and adulthood, teaching him the skills of discipline, sovereignty, and the ability to face some of the most challenging aspects of his own life.

In fact, I began to see that not only have most men not been given the tools or resources to deal with the pain and suffering in their lives, but we as men are actively taught the opposite—the idiotic tactic of constant emotional avoidance. Not only this, but our emotional avoidance is seen as a theoretical and rational strength in certain circles.

Seeing this brings about a multitude of questions that both illuminate the foundational cracks within current masculine culture and also highlight the work we must embark on if we are to do our individual and collective parts as men in building a thriving society.

There’s more: I began to see the direct correlation between a man’s ability and willingness to face his own darkness and having a clear purpose, deep fulfillment, and clarity of contribution to the things that matter most to him.

But how can we as men give our pain a purpose in a culture where we are largely devoid of emotional permissions? Where the archetype of man, in order to be classified or quantified as a man, must do the impossible task of being brave and courageous without being vulnerable?

This is one of the biggest masculine myths—the false idea that you can be courageous without being inherently vulnerable. When we are rewarded for giving our lives, our hearts, and our emotional bodies up for sacrifice to maintain the illusion of invulnerable strength, we prioritize victory over connection. We praise ourselves for performance in the boardroom, bedroom, and bars, but we lack recognition for our performance in reconciliation, repair, and reparation.

There’s another way. A way where victory is found within the work, and part of that work is facing our own darkness.

Excerpted from Men’s Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom by Connor Beaton.

CONNOR BEATON is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to the personal growth of men. He is a facilitator dedicated to building better men, an entrepreneur, a writer, and a keynote speaker. Connor has spoken to large corporate brands, nonprofits, schools, and international organizations such as the United Nations, Microsoft, Johnson & Johnson, Apple, TED, and Entrepreneurs' Organization. For more, visit mantalks.com.

Elaine Gibson: Learning from Family Systems Theory

How do you view your family of origin? Our family dynamics have a tremendous influence on how we feel about ourselves, show up in the world, and relate to others. When these dynamics are subconscious, we remain bound and encumbered by them. But when we bring them to the surface, we can engage our power to change and grow. 

In this thought-provoking podcast, Tami Simon speaks with marriage and family therapist Elaine Carney Gibson about her new book, Your Family Revealed: A Guide to Decoding the Patterns, Stories, and Belief Systems in Your Family. They discuss family systems that serve each individual, making sacrifices versus being sacrificial, the metaphor of the labyrinth, healing emotional wounds, what a healthy functioning hierarchy looks like, the advice “wear beige and be quiet,” setting and maintaining clear boundaries, using disagreements as a tool for growth and connection, the parentified child, the phenomenon of triangulation in relationships, intergenerational trauma, the future of family therapy, and more.

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